When I was a teenager in boarding school we did physical training and my drill sergeant would often say,“Pain is weakness leaving the body”. Now in my adult life I catch myself saying this phrase whenever I sense fear of pain. The fear of pain could scare some people away from their destiny. The phrase my drill sergeant said to me took on new meanings for me as an adult because I see pain as an opportunity to become stronger, which in turn has made me feel more resilient. Fear happens to us all. Whether it’s personal, work related, relationship based, or life challenges – fear is a real and prominent piece of our daily lives. Questioning our fears is a healthy way to find out what is deeply rooted within us that could be holding us back. Questioning doesn’t give power to the fear, instead it acknowledges fear, analyzes the fear, and confronts it, in order to conquer it. Here are a few reasons why you should start questioning your fears:
Fear Has More Pro’s than Con’s
Your comfort zone is cozy and safe, but it could also be what is holding you back. Stepping out of our comfort zone, often times, makes us fearful. What if I fail? What if they laugh at me? You play the “what if” game so much that you talk yourself out of what you truly desire. Fear isn’t all that bad when you embrace it and challenge yourself to the other side of fear and reach your goals. Danielle Mercurio, A Philadelphia based Confidence Coach and meditation teacher, says “The purpose of fear isn’t to become fearless, yet to recognize what scares you and go for it anyway, understanding that life would be far more terrifying to never achieve what you desire”.
Fear Is Not Reliable
Life changes when you finally acknowledge fears and release them, whether it’s taking small steps or redirecting your focus on the goal instead of the fear. Danielle Massi, a Philadelphia based marriage and family therapist, says “Fear is simply our brains reaction to a stimulus based on past experience. Essentially, that means that your fear response may be slightly unreliable. If your past experiences have led your brain to have a heightened fear response, you may be responding disproportionately to stimuli that shouldn’t provoke outright fear”. Our past experiences shape so much of who we are. Our past is such a huge part of how we move through the world, our dreams, our relationships, so acknowledging can help tremendously.
Fear Can Be Fleeting
There are times where the fear we have is totally based on where we are in our lives. Circumstances, no matter the magnitude or complexity, can alter our confidence and even just for a moment, can instill fear. Maybe you’re fearful to ask for a promotion, but at the same time your dealing with a divorce. Fear of stepping out and/or speaking up could feel more of a reach during this time in your life. Time is of the essence they say and in this case “they” are absolutely right. Everyday we are introduced to different shifts in our lives that can cause balance just as much as an imbalance. Listening to your body is key because as you shift through life, your highest self depends on your awareness. When your fear arrives, check in with yourself. Then ask yourself questions. If you find that this fear is completely circumstantial and fleeting, it just may help you to confront and conquer.
Learn to celebrate your confidence as well as your fears. You now have an understanding that in order to succeed the two traits are necessary. I challenge you to write three things in your life that are centered around fear. Write down the necessary steps you can take to move into the direction of your goal. This is you being real about your fear and not allowing your life to get lost in it. What would you do if you knew, without a shade of doubt, that you wouldn’t fail?” Proceed as if success is inevitable”-Unknown
About The Author
Parisha Smith, co-founder of The Positivity Charge
As a passionate entrepreneur, healthcare professional, mom, and wife, Parisha Smith empowers those on the brink of change to live their most effervescent lives and to make self-care a priority.